Falling – Ray Toler

This was an “inspired-by-sound” song, which is strange since the sound was a piano. During the recent holiday sales frenzies, I picked up a sample library from Spitfire called Heirloom. The default patch is a piano with a fuzzy warm nostalgia to it. A bit out of tune, a bit creaky (a bit too much, actually), but giving all of the vibes of sitting in your childhood home playing the piano.

I noodled for a few minutes figuring that I’d probably be scanning through the library to see what else was in there, when I came across the primary chords in this song.¹ In very short order, I knew this was going to be a song and opened up Scrivener.

Falling Ray Toler 2:51

The word “falling” was pretty immediate, and the melody came with it. This is as close as I typically get to that “divine inspiration” feeling. My hand is my own and not guided, but there’s this sense of… completeness. Everything’s in place and final. I only struggled with the end of the second chorus, not because I didn’t know what I wanted it to be, but because I wasn’t sure how best to say it.

I started recording the piano around 8:00 PM and got a good enough scratch performance to record the vocals. I planned to go back and re-record the piano part in an accompanist mindset. This extra step really helps the performances feel in sync.

Take 2

Initially, I would record a full verse or chorus, then delete and re-record because I didn’t want to get into doing phrase-by-phrase punch-ins on something this dramatic – it requires a bit of theater. After several deleted attempts, I decided to switch to comping. I recorded six full performances, then spread them all out, choosing the best of six and combining them all into the final track. I don’t know if other DAWs have this functionality, but it’s an amazing tool in Digital Performer! It’s crazy to think that back in the analog era, comping was done with razor blades and tape!

Once happy with the vocal, I recorded a new piano performance. That’s a short sentence for something that took a long time. I’m an ok pianist, but I intentionally did some chord changes that aren’t my norm, so my muscle memory kept trying to zig when the piece zagged. I’m still not 100% happy with it, but it’s good enough.

When to Say When

I knew I could post it in this form and it would be a nice song. But I also knew that it would sound really great with some cello. Hmm. It’s beautiful, but it isn’t anchored. How about some pizzicato bass? Nice. Look at the clock. Late. Needs violins. Ooo… I have a gesture idea. Just one verse as a test…

I went to bed late. It was difficult to sleep because I really wanted to keep working, but I knew that the whole process would be wrecked if I got my clock out of whack. In the mid-morning, I went straight back to it doing the rest of the orchestration. I didn’t have any particular ideas, so the entire arrangement is pantsed²

I spent a bit more time than expected finalizing the arrangement, which wasn’t helped by my first project that could break the Mac Studio M1 Ultra. Because I was using additional mic signals on the orchestral instruments, I suspect that I just ran out of RAM. My disgruntledness³ with Apple’s eye watering prices for RAM and disk space will have to be a rant for another time.

This is one of those songs that I recognize as sitting a bit above my others. Is it the best thing I’ve ever written? That’s hard to say, but it’s up there. I think there’s more finesse and economy to find in the arrangement, but I’m pleased with what I was able to do in a day.

Lyrics

Falling, I’m falling
Forever, forever
I can’t remember your face

Memories are falling
Dry leaves and paper
Around me while I stand in place

But it’s not as bad
As it might seem
This sadness is not on my mind

I still hear your song
Echoing
Across all the years
Across time

Holding, I’m holding
To misty white vapors
Twisting until
They are gone

Useless, this holding
Dusty and faded
You’d say to me
Carry on

And I’m trying to
But there are still
Times when I break down and cry

Then those moments pass
I straighten up
And go back to learning to fly

Falling, I’m falling
Forever, forever
I can’t remember your face


Copyright © Ray E. Toler, Jr. All rights reserved.
www.raytoler.com

Colophon

Instruments & Samples

Spitfire Heirloom, Symphonic Orchestra, and Apassionata Strings

Effects, Mixing, & Mastering

FabFilter, Gullfoss, Valhalla VintageVerb and Delay, Kraftur, Waves Kramer Tape

Notes

1
I recorded it, and might add it to this post’s playlist. It’s embarrassing to put stuff like that for all to hear, but it’s also educational.
2
I reference this in previous year’s posts, but it’s “writing by the seat of one’s pants.”
3
And trust me, I am decidedly ungruntled.