I Don’t Really Want To Today

After the general success of yesterday’s track,¹ I was itching to play some more guitar. I need to get better at it, but I have trouble with practice. I’ve been unable to learn modern programming languages because I need a project to write… I can’t just do exercises. It’s the same with instruments. My practice comes from actually producing a project. “Wait a minute,” you might say. “There’s no guitar in this!” You’re right. Let’s discover why.

I Don't Really Want To Today Ray Toler 3:09

My morning consisted of writing yesterday’s blog post, figuring out some web site configuration crap, getting mad about software subscriptions (more on that in a future post), and trying to remember how I do various things associated with all of the above. With the morning largely gone, it was time to head for the dog park – I owed Olive a trip since we skipped yesterday. We normally spend about an hour, but she wasn’t stopping so we ended up being there for over two hours.

Not a problem – I’m still getting started in the early afternoon. Started DP, connected the guitar, opened a project and started playing. I threw a drum loop on just to have a rhythm to play against and started noodling a bit.

I retuned the guitar to standard² and started noodling. I wasn’t getting anywhere so threw on the bass line that you hear in the song. I found a couple of things that might have worked, but never really went anywhere.

Music or Lyrics?

The age old question: do you write the music or the lyrics first? As always for me, it’s never the same, and in this case it actually became a “pattern” song. I had the drum and bass loop going in the background, was noodling on the guitar, and started singing “na na na na na na na na naaaa na na na na” with various nonsense sounds. And there you have it. I knew there would be lyrics, even if the melody really isn’t much of one. I wasn’t sure if that would change, but I opened up Scrivener and looked for the opening line.

As with the melody coming from a pattern, the lyrics ended up being more assembled than written. The first verse came out relatively quickly, and I thought I vaguely knew what the song was going to be about, but then each additional verse that I wrote (in a completely different order from what ended up on the final) was talking about something different. But like a jigsaw puzzle, I knew the pieces would make a complete picture if I could just get the right order.

This applies not only to the order of the verses, but even to lines within the verse. Sometimes I had the right lines, but the meaning wasn’t right. It’s crazy how swapping just two lines can bring the entire thing into focus. And sometimes the reorder would lead to me throwing out a line and writing something completely different that made it all make sense. These lyrics were crafted more than inspired. I’m not 100% happy with everything and have already started singing a few stanzas slightly differently, but it’s good enough for the exercise.

Initially, I thought each stanza would end with something different, but I kept finding lines that led to “but I don’t want to today” and figured that would be the title.

Order of Production

With the lyrics more or less in workable form (more edits would happen as I started recording), I arranged the song structure, setting markers for each verse. I sang through it a couple of times, made some tweaks, and then decided that if it never went anywhere else, it would be really boring. I threw in a bridge, but wasn’t sure how to tie it all in. That eventually worked itself out when I rewrote a line to end with “education.”

With only drum and bass going, I decided to record the vocal. This went fairly quickly and only a few punch-ins were needed. I did end up tuning a couple of notes, mostly the lower ones at the end of a line. I think this is because I was paying more attention to the words coming up than my pitch. It wasn’t bad, though, and there weren’t any real disasters… just tweaks.

The biggest delay to the overall production was, amusingly, the guitar. I kept trying to shoehorn a guitar part in. And it just kept not working. I finally forced myself to unplug it and set it aside. I worked on arranging the drum loop a bit, played around with a second loop, but decided it made things too busy, and then decided to figure out what else I could throw in to fill out the arrangement.

I’ve gotten pretty good at balancing “I’ll know it when I hear it” with “I’m looking for this particular thing.” That’s a combination of natural instinct and the result of experience – years of both producing and listening to music. I added the sixteenth-note pulse, then the soft pad note in the bridge, then the sixteenth note synth riff that comes in right before the bridge. Now it wasn’t quite as boring, but it got really overwhelming, so I did a bit of arranging on the loop and the various parts so they weren’t stepping over each other too much. Adding an autopan to the synth riff got it out of the way of everything else.

The final thing was to do the mutes on the final verse. These are a little sloppy, and I’d probably go back and be a lot more precise on them in the future. I also need to clean up the ending… I hate the echos running out instead of having a snap-end, but I couldn’t make it sound good in the time I had. After a few listens, the main thing I think I want to do is go back and make the arrangement more interesting – basic production craft stuff: bringing things in and out, maybe some additional instruments or spice samples.

One tidbit for my own future reference – this may be one of the first tracks where when I put the mastering plugs in place, the limiter was barely having to work. This mix was hitting right at my normal volume target. In fact, I had to pull a couple of the group faders down by a dB or so. That’s a big deal for me, because I’m normally having to add a lot of gain. The dynamics according to Dynameter were also dead on in the green zone. As far as the metrics go, this is a good mix.

My Own Worst Critic

We’re all our own worst critic,³ but experience has taught me that a lot of the stuff I hate when I’ve written it⁴ becomes a lot better with the passage of time. When I read back over my past blog entries, I’m often surprised at how negative I am about a track that I’ve ended up not just liking, but selecting for an album release. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t value the work, or was disappointed in comparing the result against what was in my head, but I’m going to try and stop doing that. In writing, anyway.

This track may not be very interesting. The lyrics may end up being stupid. I have no idea how I’ll feel about it in the future, but it’s fun to sing, and I’m really happy with a few of the stanzas.

Lyrics

Seen it all before and I don’t really get it
Want to get some sleep but I can’t really quit it
One more jump and I know I can lick it
One more bump and I know I can kick it
But I don’t really want to today

Keep your distance and mind your manners
Come any closer and I’ll raise my banner
Got no chance I’m a killer planner
Hit you in the head with a #10 spanner
But I don’t really want to today
No I don’t really want to today

Don’t listen to the news it’s so damn tiring
They keep you in the dark about what’s transpiring
All a big show for the folks conspiring
If I could change it I’d start inquiring
But I don’t really want to today
No I don’t really want to today

So I cut myself off – a mental amputation
Don’t wanna be guilty by association
Felt so much better after my cessation
Sharing my epiphany through education

Welcome to the school
You don’t want to be another fool
Jump into the pool
You’ll find it nice and pretty cool

Quit your bitchin’ you’re a monster quibbler
I write it all down I’m a serial scribbler
Get you a snack you professional nibbler
But close your mouth you’re a double dribbler

I’m like a politician so get to bribing
Like what I got you’re gonna be subscribing
Pay attention to what I’m imbibing ‘cause
You’re gonna like the drug that I’m self-prescribing

Wrote my own law but it died in committee
Started to wallow in my own self pity but I
Didn’t really mind cause I’m so damn pretty
Turned on the tape and wrote this little ditty

Open up the crates and get to digging
Unwind the cables and get to rigging
Listen to my tune it’ll get you jigging
Ought to get my rig and go out gigging

But I don’t really want to today
No I don’t really want to today
No I don’t really want to today
So come on over and let’s play

Colophon

Instruments & Samples

Serum 2, Hive2, Diva, impOSCar 3, XO

Effects, Mixing, & Mastering

PanMan, H3000 Factory, Kraftur, FabFilter, Valhalla, Gullfoss, VUMT Deluxe

Notes

1
Success meaning that I actually finished it.
2
A confession, even though it’s not something to apologize for. Yesterday’s track used a weird tuning. I started with drop D, then tuned the fourth string to E, and the third string to something that I don’t remember but that worked for that nice bridge chord. I also used a velcro wire tie to make the top strings shut up when I didn’t need them because of my horrible playing technique. If it sounds good, it is good.
3
Well, those of us who are aware enough to be out of the left side of the Dunning Kruger curve, anyway.
4
And that’s way more than you’d think.